


I'll Fight Hell To Hold You

by Claretgirl16



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:48:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13003146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: Hello all, me again!So it seems a certain blonde neurosurgeon might be gathering and attracting a steady stream of lady fans on Holby City, so after seeing this and being asked by a friend to write something with her in, I had a little think and came up with this one shot. I'm not sure of the interest regarding her in terms of a full fanfic, so I thought I'd test it out by writing and posting a quick one shot first and getting your thoughts.Here we are, have a read and let me know what you think, enjoy! :)





	I'll Fight Hell To Hold You

Short tempered.  
Blunt.  
Snappy.  
Irritable.  
Quiet.  
Dismissive.  
Defensive.  
Angry.

 

Just a few of the words Roxanna's colleagues could've used to describe the neurosurgeon today, from the moment she walked onto the ward, well into the hospital at the main doors this morning truth be told, the look in her eyes, the tired but stubborn expression on her face, the way she walked slowly into the lift but then straightened up and picked up her pace when any colleague passed by her, the pretence she was putting on, the faux 'I'm alright to be here' attitude, this front that seemed so far to have been partly swallowed on the surface by the majority of her colleagues on Darwin, just leaving her to her work and trying to not take offense at her off hand rudeness towards them that had been littered through the shift, or nightmare attitude and nightmare shift to work on with her would have been a pretty accurate description to describe the current working day they'd faced, no one daring to try and get through to her at the risk of being yelled at anymore than she'd been doing at intervals for various random reasons throughout the day, whoever was the nearest seeming to feel the full force of the surgeons mood.  
But someone had taken it upon themselves to step in, to take charge of what she saw as an unacceptable pattern of behaviour, yes she was grieving and it'd only been a few weeks since her husband's death, but there had to be a limit and some boundaries to what was an acceptable way to talk to the people you saw every time you were at work, at first she'd let it slide a little because of the grieving process but at this point it'd gone too far, gone on too long without intervention from anyone, no one it seemed had the courage or front to stand up to the blonde, well if they weren't going to then she would, someone had to do something, to stand up to Roxanna, this person was Alex.

 

"Roxanna can I have a word please?" she asked quietly at the nurse's station when the other woman was on her own and the ward was calm and running smoothly, seeing the blonde look up at her.  
"If you must" came the blunt reply, this quickly being replied to.  
"Yes I must" the equally blunt response catching Roxanna off guard as she saw Alex make her way to the staff room, the surgeon following behind her, a frown gracing her face, an expression that hadn't been removed from her features very often these past few weeks, shutting the door behind them both, staying on her feet and facing towards the brunette, almost ready for a fight, be it verbal or otherwise.  
"I want to say first off I appreciate that you're grieving and it's been a matter of weeks since you lost your husband, and we all get that it must be hard for you, but the attitude and way you've been speaking to literally all of us these past weeks has gotten outta control and I can't stand by and watch it continue, someone needs to say something and address the issue to you, so that person is me, I can't see it carry on" she explained, both sets of green eyes locked together as the brunette spoke, her stance and voice holding firm as she spoke, not one to be intimidated by the neurosurgeon.

 

"How dare you speak to me this way, you've no idea what I'm like and how I feel, coming in here and laying down the law to me, you've no right to speak to me this way and address me in this manner! I'm fine to be in work and my attitude has been fine, I don't need the likes of you telling me otherwise!" she spat back, her voice raising in annoyance and irritability just like it had been a lot of times these past few weeks, the snappy mood coming out again now they were alone in the staff room, but Alex also detecting a hint of something else there, sadness, pain, loneliness, front she was trying to cling on to.  
"You need to calm down, this is the exact reason that I needed to have this talk with you, this is the way you've been exploding at most of us here for weeks and it can't carry on, something needs to stop, some intervention, to help us yes but also you, it can't be nice for you.." being interrupted again.  
"How would you know about me, about how I feel, what I need and want, you don't know anything!" her eyes now blazing with emotions at the confrontation of the younger brunette, the stance that Alex had come at her with, no one else had said much to her these past weeks, they'd all just accepted her behaviour and carried on, kept out of her way as much as they could, but now here Alex was confronting her, telling her, making a stand.  
"I bloody know and see more than you think, if you'd give me an opportunity and not keep bloody interrupting before I've had a chance to actually speak to you!" Alex gave back, having to raise her own voice in order to be heard over the blonde's shouting, this response shocking Roxanna into momentarily silence, having not been ready for Alex shouting back at her. "I see the grief behind the front you attempt and have attempted to put on for weeks whilst being in here day in day out, I see the fragmented woman that's in a lot of pain emotionally and no doubt physically probably due to tiredness or should that be exhaustion at working every hour god sent to hide from her own emotions, probably because she thinks they make her look weak if she gives into them or had to god forbid reach out to someone and admit that she was struggling, struggling like hell if you ask me. And I'll tell you this for nothing, it doesn't matter what shouting and passive aggressive, emotionally charged denial or response that you might be building up to spitting back at me, nothing you'll say to me will make me change my mind or convince me otherwise. I'll still believe and see you as a woman who is in a painful and emotionally exhausted state, who is from what I've seen lonely and vulnerable and in all honesty just wants to let it all out, and needs someone to wrap their arms around her and be there with her while she does all this" Alex explained, her tone firm but understanding, keeping her eyes with the older woman all the time she was speaking, letting her know and see that Roxanna's front didn't intimidate or work on her, that she saw through the whole facade.

 

Woah.  
She's good.  
Better than I thought she might be.  
Better than I was ready to give her credit for.  
If I'm honest I didn't think she knew much.  
Didn't see much.  
Seems that I was wrong.  
And that doesn't happen often.  
Well at least I thought that it didn't.  
She gets it.  
Gets me.  
People don't usually get me.  
Not the me inside anyway.  
Not in my opinion.  
Well then Alex.

 

Not saying another word Alex raised her eyebrows, her arms having become unfolded in the time she'd been speaking and then not speaking, letting her observations to Roxanna sink in, let her words try and actually get through to the blonde, she could try anyway, since no one else seemed like they felt they could.  
"I...well...I..." the usual strong and firm voice of the neurosurgeon shaking and faltering as she tried to reply to Alex, feeling the brunette's eyes not moving from her, her stance more relaxed now she'd said her piece, her green eyes softened, wandering over Roxanna's face having seen the older woman's resolve and front start to evaporate in front of her, the neurosurgeons eyes filling up and glazing over with tears, this enough for Alex to quickly close the gap between them as Roxanna's shell disintegrated, her tightly held together resolve coming apart at the seams, collapsing into Alex's arms, heavy sobs wracking her body, that heavy that if it hadn't have been for Alex's strong embrace the older woman would've been on the floor of the staff room in a heap, there was something to be said for being in the army and the strength the brunette possessed in her upper body, it came in handy for these situations.  
"It's alright...it's alright, I've got you, I've got you, I'm here Roxanna" Alex whispered gently, guiding the distraught woman to one of the sofas and sitting them down, the hands of the other woman desperately grabbing for her scrub top, as if she didn't get some purchase on the brunette then Alex might just disappear in a puff of smoke, this desperate action prompting Alex to soothingly stroke one hand up and down the blonde's back, her other coming up to hold Roxanna's head against her shoulder, keeping her close, thinking the contact might help in reassuring her and letting her silently know that she was here and not going anywhere anytime soon. "I'm here, I'm right here" she whispered again, reinforcing her pledge she'd made a few minutes ago, very lightly rocking the emotionally shattered and distressed, hysterical figure in her arms, her cheek resting against the soft, short locks of blonde hair, her grip around Roxanna strong and unwavering as she sat holding her on the sofa in the staffroom.


End file.
